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Sometimes we think of children with severe physical and mental disabilities as the only ones who have special needs. Every child, however, has needs that parents and educators must address. Whether a child is academically gifted, learning disabled, or at some stage in-between, they need adults - both teachers and parents - to be alert to what those often hidden needs might be.

The Gifted & Disabilities

People are often surprised to learn that gifted children (IQ over 140) and profoundly gifted children (IQ over 170) may be physically or learning disabled. Many of these children learn to compensate for their disabilities, which may include sight and hearing problems, hyperactivity, dyslexia, etc. Imagine the difficulties people like Albert Einstein (teachers considered him slow), Thomas Edison (couldn't read until age 12), Walt Disney (dyslexia), and Itzhak Perlman (legs paralyzed from polio at age 4) faced when they were young. If your children are academically gifted, they aren't immune to physical and/or learning difficulties. Or, on the other hand, if your children are experiencing physical and/or learning difficulties, it doesn't mean that they won't be successful.

Does My Child Has a Physical or Learning Problem?

While some physical and learning problems are severe and can't help but be noticed, others are subtle and hard to detect. It's not easy to tell, for example, if a toddler or preschooler can't see or hear as well as he or she should or if your four year old is just being a four year old or has hyperactivity problems. The best advice is to make sure your children have regular medical and hearing and eye examinations. Once your children start school, the school nurse will usually do sight and hearing screening and will let you know if they need additional testing. Regular visits to pediatricians are important and are times for you to bring up any problems you think your child may be experiencing with health and learning. Your children's teachers and school administrators may point out possible physical or learning difficulties to you, but sometimes educators may not notice problems. Keep in mind that you know your children far better than they, and if you are concerned, you should consult your child's doctor first, and then if needed, a psychologist or psychiatrist for testing.

For the most part, testing for learning disabilities is for children who are at least four years old. Even at that age, with most children who do not have severe problems, it's difficult for testing expert to tell if a child will continue to have difficulties. Often recommendations are made for the child to return for additional testing in a year or two. Experienced educators can easily verify that screening of young children isn't an exact science. As many kindergarten and primary teachers will tell you, "There are children who seem to have definite learning problems, but later on, something clicks and they're off and running reading or writing up a storm or doing complicated math in their head."

Educators can tell you so many stories about children who surprised them with their learning abilities. That surprise may come months or even years later. Sometimes children are able to overcome their disabilities and sometimes they learn to compensate for them. Children who have hearing problems may make sure they see people's faces when they are talking. Children with reading problems may learn what they need from audio and videotapes and/or from parent and teacher reading of the textbooks and other text-based materials. What's important is for teachers and parents to continue to encourage children who are experiencing difficulties. Working together to discover ways these children can learn and feel successful is important. Valuable coping strategies mastered by young children will prove useful into well the future. Actor Tom Cruise, for example, memorizes entire scripts by listening to tapes because his reading problems don't enable him to read as fluently as he would like.

Emotional Needs Related to Peers & Studies

It's not just in the area of physical and learning disabilities that children experience needs. Think of the children who feel "left-out" because they:

• are the last to be picked for a relay team,
• can't seem to make friends,
• are interested in activities that others don't appreciate,
• aren't invited to parties, and
• feel that they don't fit in.

While these problems may not be on a level with physical and learning handicaps, they are indeed major obstacles for the children facing them. As adults, most of us can remember times when we or someone close to us felt "left out" as children. It's not a very pleasant memory. The best advice for parents is to listen to your children and let them talk about their feelings. Take their problems seriously, but at the same time, help them to understand that not everyone is good at everything and not everyone will be invited to every event. Highlight their talents and successes and think of ways to help them focus upon these.

Keep in mind that your children may be "left-out" because their peers know that you (their parents) will not allow them to participate in certain activities (staying out late, parties that are not chaperoned carefully, games you don't approve of, etc.) If this is the case, help them to find new friends whose parents have similar standards and rules for their children. Be warned that changing "friends" is not easy for children because they often want to be with those that they consider the "cool" kids, no matter how mean these kids are to them. Be assured that with your help, your children can make the transition and that they'll be better off not in the "cool" group.

Sometimes your children won't come to you about peer problems. They may not want you to know that they are unhappy. But there are signs that you will pick up on. A teacher may call because your child was upset after recess, or you may notice that a child doesn't have their usual spark. This is when keeping an on-going dialog with them - in good times and in bad - is so very vital. Keep the conversation going and you'll be in a much better position for helping them when peer problems strike -as they're bound to between Grades 4 and 7.

Besides peer problems, academic difficulties can be a cause of concern. If your children aren't doing as well as they think they should in school, they may need your emotional support. Children who are accustomed to getting good grades, are embarrassed when they get a poor grade, and children who struggle with the academics are constantly ill at ease when taking tests and handing in assignments. You can help your children with their self-confidence and skills in the academics by encouraging good study habits, assisting with reading if reading is difficult for them, going over tests to see what may have gone wrong, helping them study for tests, offering suggestions for improving writing, and letting them experiment with multiple strategies for learning (text, audio, visual). You'll probably come up with many more ideas, but no matter what you do, let your children know that you understand they are experiencing problems and that you are there to help.

If you take a moment and think about it, you'll probably come to the conclusion that all of us have special needs. Maybe we reverse numbers when writing down a telephone number, maybe we are not very good at spelling, maybe we were the last selected for a relay team, maybe we had to squint our eyes to see the chalkboard - the list goes on. But we learned to deal with our problems and our children will, too. Just be there with a sympathetic ear, an open mind, and most of all, some understanding.