A recent New York Times article entitled The Dicey Parent-Teacher Duet, looks at the delicate balance these days in the relationship between parents and teachers and, in part, takes up the question of the pros and cons of digital communication between the two groups. While the article is mainly directed at teachers, both sides should probably take note of some of the suggestions that were made, which is why I take up the issue here.

Of course, it is obvious that digital communication between parents and teachers can be very powerful. It is timely, quick and easy and can be done asynchronously, or in other words, when both parties have time during the busy working day. In the overwhelming majority of cases, this works very well.

There is, of course, the potential for issues and if you are a parent who likes to text or send email to staff at your child's school, here are some things to think about:

• Remember that you are not likely to get an instant response from teachers. For example, if you send a message at the beginning of the day, you are not likely to hear right back because they often are in class all day with little or no breaks. They are also unlikely to respond in the evening between 6 and 9 p.m. because that is when they are taking care of their own family's needs.
  
  
• It is so easy to send off a text or email when you are annoyed and just escalate matters that could have been settled face to face or on the phone with little or no conflict. Try not to use emails or texts with teachers and administrators for anything but simple information like appointments or requesting homework assignments in the case of absences.
  
  
• If it is delicate matter, pick up the phone and call to schedule a meeting. This conveys that you think that whatever you want to discuss is important.
  
  
• Don't write a long list of complaints and send it as an email and expect a long detailed response in return. Teachers have lots of other parents and students to deal with and not going to answer all your concerns point by point. Make it short, simple and to the point.
  
  
• If you know that the teacher can't answer the question without asking colleagues, ask in the email that they let you know this or otherwise respond to this initial email. Parent's number one complaint about emailing with teachers is initiating communication and never receiving a reply. Make sure you ask for an interim email. You might not get it, but it can't hurt.
  
  
• If you use email for minor issues with a teacher, don't copy the principal or department head or other administrator. This sends the message that you don't think there is even a chance you will be able to work this out on your own. It may come to that stage, but don't start out that way. It is disrespectful to the teacher.
  
  
• Proceed with restraint. Kids complain about teachers just the way they complain about their parents. Sometimes a day can solve everything, so don't email until you know that whatever seemed so awful today really is a problem unless there is time issue.
  
  
• It took me a long time to recognize this, but as the old saying goes "you can catch a lot more flies with honey than vinegar." What that means is that just as you would like to hear positive things from the teacher about your child, your child's teacher also wants to hear that they are doing well. Accentuate what they are doing that is working well with your child before you dive into the problems. In day-to-day correspondence, it also does not hurt to thank teachers for the efforts they make on behalf of your child and others. Or do something totally radical - just send a note to a teacher when your child has had a particularly good day and let them know!
  
  
• I recently came across this quote by Maya Angelou and I think it sums it up - "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." You are more likely to get your problems solved if you play nicely from the beginning. Don't make mountains out of molehills unless you need to. There are definitely times in which you may need to stand up for your child, but pick your pitched battles when you can.

In the first part of this article, we covered how to find a privacy policy, figure out what personal information a website is collecting about you and how they are doing it, and where that information goes. That leaves the open questions of how long sites can hold your personal information, how changes are made to privacy policies, and what other things you can do to protect your privacy online.

Keeping Your Data

I've often written in this column that just because you delete something online does not mean it is gone. The regulations regarding Facebook in Europe are different because of the strict privacy laws in Ireland, where the company office is based, so when people began requesting to see what personal information had been saved, they were often amazed to receive over a hundred pages of related information including posts they thought they had deleted. Just because it does not appear online anymore does not mean that dreadful picture or horrible post is gone forever.

So, how long can you expect websites to hold on to your data? Their privacy policy should spell that out. Some sites archive your data for a period of time, while others never delete it, but neutralize it by removing personal identifiers. Somewhere in a privacy policy, amid all the legalese, you should be able to discern how to contact the website holder about deleting data.

Protecting Your Data

Your data should be protected in some way and that should be spelled out. Remind kids to check for language that indicates their data is protected such as "take commercially reasonable precautions to protect the information from loss, misuse and unauthorized access, disclosure, alteration, and destruction of data."

Change is in the Wind

Privacy policies change all the time. For example, Facebook tends to change theirs on a regular basis and they have even removed the word "privacy" from their policy, which means that you may be looking for something other than a "privacy" policy when looking for information about how you are protected. Ideally, you should be notified of a change in policy by email, text, or an announcement on the site. Many sites act like your continued use of the site is your acceptance of any policy changes. If it is a site you use on a regular basis, you may want to check every few months to see what changes have been made and kids should be reminded to do this as well.

Stay Aware

Keep your eyes open for items in the media about web site privacy policy changes. Facebook and Google are notorious for making changes that may expose some of your information without much notification, although since both are being closely watched by the federal government for privacy violations, we may see less of that.

With the holidays upon us I always get a lot of questions about how to help grandparents get set up with technology. With digital technology, particularly the Internet, becoming more and more essential to staying in touch with each other, much less being able to get your hands on the proper government forms or to find out how to order a new coffee pot lid, technology is no longer just for tweens and early (or even late) adopters. It has moved from being something "nice to have" to a necessity these days.

Of course the biggest problem with getting grandparents involved in technology is that you often become the first line of tech support. For most of us, including the so called "experts" on those technology help lines, this is an exercise in exasperation and frustration, but having the person on the other line be someone who changed your diapers and put up with your teenage years certainly adds to the tension of the situation.

There is a way to make this easier: Switch your parents to the exact same technology products you use every day. It is the best way to understand those little oops moments and chances are most of their issues will be problems you have already encountered (and hopefully solved) yourself. As for problems you don't recognize, well let's just say it is easier trying to talk someone through a jammed printer when you have the exact same printer in front of you. Some well-meaning folks try to set their parent up with "easier to use" phones, computer and TV sets. In the end this often proves to have the exact opposite effect, especially if you live hundreds of miles away. Chances are if you can see it and know it you will have much better luck helping someone fix it.

Unless this is an initial set of some new technology, you may need to talk the grandparents into this approach. If they already have technology that they have been using and it works for them (televisions seems to the least problematic), you may just want to leave it alone and just make the "matching" technology a rule for new purchases or for items that need constant attention.

Overall , there are probably four major problem areas where having the same technology at your house and at the grandparents might make sense and will keep frustrations with problem-solving to a minimum.

1. Try to have the same phones, or at least the same brand. The grandparents may protest that they don't need all those "apps," but the first time your Mom needs to close some apps on her iPhone because her phone is running slow, you'll be able to talk through the process of double pushing the home button, making them wiggle, and closing them out. (I recently spent a whole book club meeting teaching various people how to do that.)
   
   
2. Switch them to the same email program that you use. This one can be hard because there isn't as big an excuse to do this. OF course if all they use is AOL and you have never been on the site (or it has been years) it can be almost impossible to visualize and talk them through any issues.
   
   
3. This may be the holiday to give your parents a computer and printer just like yours. This can be expensive, but if you are a Mac user and your parents are beginners at best at Windows you probably already know what problems that can cause.
   
   
4. Set your parents up with a software program where you can remotely see what they are seeing on their computer screen. Mac or Windows, an online utility like Copilot OneClick, which costs $5 per month can make a huge difference because then you can see what they see.

Just remember, duplication can be your friend.

Now a new study about the happiness of college students is being related to Facebook and is saying much the same thing, albeit somewhat in reverse. We tend to look at other people's Facebook (and other social networking) pages and because just the accomplishments and warm and fuzzy moments in other people's lives are chronicled there, we tend to think that our own lives don't stack up. We tend to think we are the only ones who are depressed and get down and out. Perhaps this is the digital version of not being able to see the forest for the trees.

Of course, this is nothing new. Montesquieu is quoted as saying: "If we only wanted to be happy it would be easy; but we want to be happier than other people, which is almost always difficult, since we think them happier than they are." But there is something to the idea that social networking may be making this tendency worse. By showcasing the most witty, joyful, bullet-pointed versions of people's lives, and inviting constant comparison, we tend to see ourselves as the losers, giving credence to the idea that Facebook exploits an Achilles' heel of human nature. As for teenage boys and girls, always less than satisfied bunch, they may be especially vulnerable to keeping up with what they imagine is the happiness of the Joneses. 

I am not saying that we need to do away with Facebook. I just think that it is another media literacy lesson we have to teach our kids. It could be as simple as asking them if they know anyone, including themselves, who highlights the low moments in their lives in equal proportion to the high ones on Facebook or other social networking sites? It is also a good reminder to ourselves about other parent's Facebook or photo scrapbook pages, that only include the golden moments with their kids, their careers and their significant others. We have to remember that we are only seeing the "up" moments - not the inevitable bumps in the road that rise up for all. It is important for us to remember that we are only seeing a "slice" of their life and no comparisons are required.

Of course, they are right about online safety. Right from the beginning kids need to understand that being online is a lot like being out in the real world. What concerns me instead is the interpretation of this study. For example, one of the findings is that "More young children know how to play a computer game (58%) than swim (20%) or ride a bike (52%)." For 2-5 year olds, I would say that is probably exactly what I would expect most parents to say and that would not be developmentally unusual at all. Another is that "28% of young children can make a mobile phone call, but only 20% know to dial 911 in case of an emergency." How can you survey that so precisely - is that what parents think their 2-5 year olds know or has it been put to the test, heaven forbid?

Using these statistics, the interpreters of this survey seem absolutely convinced that kids are acquiring computer skills sooner than "traditional real world skills." As a result some of the write-ups are generating headlines like "Learning to Play ‘Angry Birds' Before You Can Tie Your Shoes" and "Growing Up Digital: Can Kids Balance Tech Skills and Life Skills?" with articles in publications like the Wall Street Journal opening with lines like "Kids today are better wielding a mouse or smartphone than swimming or making their own breakfast. What's a parent to do?"

You can read the press release for yourself, but my advice - let's not get hysterical quite yet. My guess is that kids, at their own pace, will still learn to ride bikes, how to swim and even make their own breakfast. (One other statistic implied that 2-5 year olds didn't know how to shovel snow because of technology. Give me a break!) Let's just help them be careful out there in both the real and online worlds and model some behavior that says there is more to life than being online. If we do that, maybe they will also learn to read survey results like thes with a grain of salt.

Perhaps you've seen one of these symbols on an ad or a sign recently:

Your kids probably have heard about them - they are QR or Quick Response Codes - (basically a 3D barcode) and they are beginning to pop-up everywhere. While they are in many ways an old technology - being just a more sophisticated barcode - the difference is that people - not stores - are scanning them and using them to get to the Web quickly to get more information - or even discounts - about the items they are attached to. And FYI - we are about to see many more of them in use. By the way - if you scanned this one it would take to the home page of the Power to Learn site.

What You Need

So what do you need to use QR codes? A device, like your smartphone or an iPod Touch, that has a built-in camera so you can scan or simply take a picture of the code, a program (basically an app on your phone) to do the decoding, and a connection to the Internet to see where the barcode takes you. Many free popular apps/decoders/readers for the iPhone and Android like NeoReader are available and they let you not only read codes, but create them as well. Barcode Scanner from Zxing is another. There are plenty of others, just do a search in your search engine like Google for a "QR Code Reader" and you should find something that works for your phone or device.

So What's the Big Deal?

The big deal here is that instead of trying to type in a website you see on a sign, an ad or a poster that has a long URL (web address) to take you to a specific part of a site, now your phone can scan it, decode it, and take you to the information instantly. QR codes can contain up to 4,000 characters of information so the potential for what you get when you scan one is huge. Right now they primarily direct people to web addresses and they are beginning to appear on business cards as well as well as ads to give you more information on products, discounts or even coupons that can be scanned at the store. Zoos are using them on exhibit signs so that you can get more information on the animals through text, audio and video, which is a great idea for when animals aren't active, visible or even off exhibit for some reason. There are also many ideas being circulated for using them in schools and libraries. Just think what it would be like to scan a QR code to get a review of a book you pick up and wonder about or even directions on how to use a product you are considering buying? You might even think about creating your own QR codes (see Kaywa to see how fast and easy it is to do that) and attaching them to items in your home to remind you where you bought them, how to use them, or some family memory attached to them.

Get ready to see more of them - the invasion of the QR codes.

2010 has been dubbed The Year We Stopped Talking to One Another and there is definitely something to it,  for both old and young and every age in-between. Everywhere you go you see people in the thrall of their electronic devices and if you have been on a plane recently you know the first echo upon landing is everyone's cell phone being restarted. From texting at dinner to posting on Facebook from work or checking e-mail while on a date, the connectivity revolution is creating a lot of divided attention, not to mention social angst. Many analysts say it's time to step back and reassess, although almost everyone agrees we still don't know how things are going to shake out.

In the meantime, that doesn't mean that families shouldn't make some decisions for themselves about when technology is appropriate and when it's not.  (Take a look at Resolutions for an Online Family for a realistic approach.) I am the first to admit that it is often easier to text my kids and I know my teenage son appreciates not being interrupted by a call from Mom when he is with his buddies. He is often far more responsive by text than in a phone call about what is going on, where he is, or just letting us know he is home. But that isn't a reason to stop talking in person or to actually call.

I have also found myself wondering what could make 2011 The Year We Reassessed Our Relationship with Personal Technology.  I hate to be a pessimist, but I just don't think it is going to happen without some great calamity. We, who have fully embraced technology, are very much into the here and now and seem very willing to sacrifice the niceties along the way.  We don't give much thought to those who don't have access to the same kind of technology, nor are we much worried about the consequences of that. That certainly seems to be the consensus of most of the under-30 generation who have grown up with the technology and find no wonder in what the technology can do. Instead they always seem to be asking why it doesn't do more. Many, if not most, have little patience for those who are not as tech savvy as they are.

That lack of patience on both scores is concerning and is leading to yet another kind of digital divide the experts have never discussed before. I, for one, am certainly going to try to be conscious of it this year and do what I can to make sure the "talking" continues between the generations of my family - no matter how digitally connected or savvy they fancy themselves. I also hope to be more expressive about the positive aspects of technology, helping my children, colleagues and friends to appreciate how far we have come and to recognize we are not entangled in some kind of Gordian knot that only bigger, better, faster technology is going to unravel. 

Perhaps you can model that kind of behavior as well. For parents, let's face it, as technology continues to burgeon and the struggle to "keep up" continues it is only in our own self-interest to do so.

Now a visit to the application store by you or your kids to download that cute virtual pet program, may bring with it more than you bargained for on your smartphone. As smartphones flood the marketplace and users load up on apps such as games, shopping tools, map software and online banking, they're also exposing themselves to identity thieves and hackers.

So how can you and your children protect your phones and your identities from this new breed of mobile-minded criminal? Here are some tips:

• Protect your phone - Use common sense in protecting your smartphone from hackers and identity thieves. Don't let strangers (and this is something very important to emphasize with kids) borrow your phone. You should also protect access to e-mail and sensitive data with a PIN or password.  Don't use unofficial apps for online banking, and don't click on links from text messages (that is something kids are most apt to fall for). Basically, if you wouldn't do it on your home computer, don't do it on your smartphone.
  
  
• Be app-aware ­- Be wary of free apps that aren't from established, trusted, familiar sources. Steer clear of pirated app repositories; stick to official versions for safe mobile surfing. Apple sometimes gets a bad rap for vetting its App Store and not being more open, but there is a reason they are doing this. Open access has its limits and dangers. Also, don't grant an app access to functionality that it shouldn't need.
  
  
• Be WiFi smart - Always know where your WiFi is coming from! It is easy to just blithely log on when WiFi is offered, but be careful whose network you use.  When you use public WiFi for Web access, don't visit sites that require you to share sensitive personal information such as account numbers or your social security number. Hackers may lurk on WiFi networks.
  
  
• Watch bills vigilantly - Check your bill carefully each month. If you see downloads you didn't authorize or calls you didn't make, contact your wireless provider immediately. If this becomes a problem with your kids, make it a rule that they have to keep a log on their phone of this kind of activity or lose their phone privileges. If you receive a confirmation e-mail when you download an app, take time to actually read through it, and ask kids to do the same, so that you know exactly what you are putting on your phone-and where it's coming from.
  
  
• Question quirks - If your home computer started doing bizarre things like shutting down without warning, sending unauthorized email messages or pulling up websites that don't match the address typed in, you might suspect a virus. But users, especially kids, don't necessarily make the same connection when bizarre quirks develop on smartphones. Mobile devices will usually issue similar weird warnings when they're infected with malware.
  
  
• Is your Bluetooth showing? - Don't leave your Bluetooth on all the time if you don't need to, and keep it in hidden/non-discoverable mode.
  
  
• Stay updated and keep in touch - Keep your phone's software updated to protect it from the latest threats If available, install mobile security software that blocks malware and can find or shut down your phone if it's lost or stolen.

For parents this debate means that we need to urge our schools to foster this deeper thinking by handing out more research question-based school assignments (i.e . What in Lincoln's background made him suited to be President during the Civil War? Or what if Holden Caulfield the main character in Catcher in the Rye had had a cell phone, how would the story be different?) rather than just going along with old school style shallow assignments (write a biography of Abraham Lincoln or do a book report on Catcher in the Rye) that can be easily plagiarized off Wikipedia or it's cousins or the term paper mills that are multiplying like rabbits. Those kinds of  "thinking" assignments do mean more work for kids - and sometimes parents who have to help foster this more in-depth exploration ­- but in the long run, they will build stronger brains.

The other half of this debate seems to be about whether the current generations - from ages 2 to 30 or those who always seem "turned on" - have the capacity to learn when to turn the technology off. To me, this is the more crucial debate.

Certainly most tech titans, an overwhelming 75%, according to a recent Pew Internet & American Life Project survey, believe that by 2020, people's use of the Internet will enhance human intelligence. Their consensus is that new skills will be elevated, such as our ability to hunt for information and look for patterns in broad data, and that we will be able to make better decisions because of the Web. But even they admit that it will be up to each individual to stay focused to avoid overwhelming distraction.

It is so easy to find example of kids who just can't bear to turn the technology off. But some experts say that we haven't had much of a chance to develop our social responses to the easy availability of 24/7 access. I believe that argument has some credibility, especially since our schools have not yet integrated technology, particularly individual access to technology, into the school day very well yet. In the present atmosphere, where technology is something you do more regularly out of school than in, the impetus to get right back online when the school day is done is very strong.

And that is where parents come in. The importance of taking breaks, turning off devices and simply talking in person needs to be modeled as well as gently enforced with the current generations from a very early age. It is yet another aspect of parenting with technology that needs to be explored, discussed, encouraged and even enjoyed. Stay tuned for more columns on just those topics in this space during this school year.

• By the end of 2010 Gen Y members will out number Baby Boomers and 96% of this new generation has already joined a social network according to author and social media pundit Erik Qualman.
  
  
• Radio took 38 years to reach 50 million users, television took 13 years, the Internet took just 4 years, the iPod only three, and Facebook? It added 100 million users in less than 9 months and it just reached 500 million users - which is like the combined population of the United States, Japan and Germany.
  
  
• 18 new e-reading devices besides the Kindle and the iPad have arrived on the consumer scene in the last six months and the content for those devices grows by leaps and bounds every day. Apple has already sold 3 million iPads within months of release and the newest Kindle 3 model went on backorder within days of its launch.

So should you buy your child an ebook reader? That still depends on your child and their needs, but it's important to understand what ebooks bring to the table especially when they start talking about instituting ebook readers at school instead of textbooks. It seems that a convergence of technology (bandwidth and devices), culture (tech-savvy students) and economic factors (slashed school budgets and desperately innovative companies) is bringing the possibility that your child is going to be exposed to ebooks at school, or need an ebook, to get along in the not too distant future.

So how do you get up-to-speed? Here are some ideas:

1. If you haven't had a chance to actually play with an ebook reader, you need to get out and see one. Stop by a Barnes and Noble and play with a nook or an Apple store and play with an iPad, paying particular attention to the iBooks app and apps like The Elements that do more for the teaching of chemistry in 2 minutes than a century of instruction has ever done. And don't be shy. If you see someone with an ebook reader ask them how they like and why they like what they bought better than the other products on the market.
   
   
2. They have a way to go yet - there still aren't that many textbooks available for ebook readers, but that shouldn't stop you from taking a look because a year from now that will be very different. To see what a textbook with all the bells and whistles an ebook reader could offer in the future see the video at Inkling.
   
   
3. Want to see what ebooks for preschoolers look like? Take a look at an old favorite - The Monster at the End of the Book  on the Sesame Street ebook site. I can still remember reading his book to my son who enjoyed tormenting furry old blue Grover, who begs kids not to turn the pages, as there is a monster reportedly at the end of the book! The boings, whistles and music that are part of the sound track only enhance Grover's lament and add to the hilarity of Grover's (in jest) pleas and efforts to "nail" down the pages so kids "can't" turn them. Revisit this classic and enjoy. Another delightful book and great example of ebooks at work is Miss Spider's Tea Party now available for download for the iPad at the Apple Apps store.
   
   
4. Worried about the cost of ebooks? Generally they are much cheaper than their paper equivalents, easy to replace if they are lost or stolen and many classics are free. Check out Stacy Reed, the Librarian Chick who has an extensive list of free digital books on her site that are available through sources such as Alex Catalogue of Electronic Texts, Audiobooks, Baen Free Library, Bibliomania, BooksShouldBe Free, ChestofBooks, DailyLit- and that's just the beginning of this Librarian's alphabetical list. The list and links will give you an idea of the kinds of things already available for ebook readers besides what is offered for sale by the usual booksellers.
   
   
5. Take a look at these reviews and comparisons of ebook readers for an overview of features and prices. The iPad is not considered strictly an ebook reader so it is not included in some charts, but you should think about how you or your children are going to use the device before you exclude it even though it is more expensive. And you may find that everyone in your family has an opinion about which ebook reader is best or maybe they still prefer books. If so, you are not alone.
   
   
6. Download an ebook reader app like those for Amazon's Kindle to your computer and play with it a bit. Imagine how easy it will be to take notes, look up unknown words and comment on passages for a student who is using an ebook.
   
   
7. Concerned about the environmental impact of ebook readers? Take a look at this column from The Green Lantern. It has some pretty convincing arguments for using eBook readers and iPads rather than books. Perhaps the biggest argument is that most consumer products take their biggest toll on the Earth when they are manufactured and transported. It makes sense that while the actual creation of the device is not so great environmentally -speaking, the fact that books you read on it did not have to be manufactured and transported is the real saving grace

If you haven't read the first article in this series, I'm sure you'll enjoy reading about the students' thoughts and opinions about cyberbullying, social networking, cell phone use, school use of cyber communication, privacy, and more.

And now... what the students have to say about the positives of the Internet and digital communication-what they love about connecting digitally.

 "When a person views the world through a cyber perspective, limitations are almost nonexistent." Justin (Grade 9)

"...we know texting is not the same as actually being with someone. However, video-chatting-now that's a way to cyber communicate. You can actually see each other when you are talking. Facial expressions, actions, hand gestures, are all impossible over the phone and while texting. Maybe you just got a new haircut, or your braces off. Your friends can easily see those changes. And there are lots of programs that you can use to talk to anybody, anywhere, for as long as you want with no cost." (Claire S., Grade 8)

 "The Internet is a groundbreaking invention." (Mark, Grade 8)

"While homebound during a snowstorm, we experienced a power outage. Suddenly without electricity, computer, landline telephones, and heat, I realized how we take technological advances we use daily for granted." (Keegan, Grade 5)

Put yourself back the your grandparents' time. You need directions to your cousin's house in Maine. You might have to call someone for directions or buy a map instead of MapQuesting or Googling. How about finding out what is playing at the movies? You might have to drive to the theater to check the "Now Playing" sign or make another phone call." (Hannah, Grade 8)

"I love to text my friends when we have breaks from school, and I love to email my cousin who lives a few hours from me." (Claire D. Grade 8)

 "After I had an accident on the lacrosse field and tore my ACL, one doctor told me, "Son, if you want to be on a team, you'd better choose a chess team." But, as it turned out, the answer was as simple as pulling up a search bar and typing in teenage ACL injuries" on my computer. There was the answer: a doctor who could repair my knee."  (Brad, Grade 9)

"Being a teenager in high school, cyber communication has definitely come in handy for me. With my cell phone, email, text messaging, Facebook, ..., I can get my homework off the Internet, email a paper to a teacher, look up information for a report, and keep in contact with my friends." (McKenzie, Grade 9)

 "The Internet was created for the purpose of being able to share information with everyone, in different cities, states, and even countries. This is so great because no matter where you are in the world just about, you can get online and talk with someone who lives near or far away." (Katie, Grade 9)

"During the winter, lots of school days were missed because of the weather. My honors physical science teacher arranged for online classrooms. This allowed us to keep up with our studies. We called the classes "snow school." (Justin, Grade 9)

 "I love being able to keep up with people I rarely see and learning about their day and how they are doing." (Razaak, Grade 8)

"The Internet is neither scary or bad. The Internet is a technology. It has no thoughts of its own, no feelings, no inclinations toward helping or hurting people. It just exists.
 (Mark, Grade 8)

"What I like is that I can do my essays on the computer and that I can find information I need." (Lauren Grade 6)

"I can get lots of help with projects by going online." (Jordan, Grade 6)

 "Soldiers fighting for our country used to write letters home, which would take a long time to get there. In today's world, soldiers can Skype or video chat with their families. A father in Iraq can see his son taking his first footsteps." (Hannah, Grade 8.)

"I believe cyber communications are great, and I really miss them when they are not working. I can learn just about anything online-like news and like when my school is closed for snow." (Keegan, Grade 5)

"My math teacher posts homework on the Internet and has all the due dates for everything online. It's convenient for me and time saving, too." (Razaak, Grade 8)

"I love digital communication because it keeps me in touch with my friends and relatives in Peru. Do you know how much it costs for a regular phone call to Peru, but with the Internet, I don't have to worry about the costs." (Oriana, Grade 8)

 "Cyber communication has changed the world and it will continue to change the way we live at an even more rapid pace." (Justin, Grade 9)

"There is not a doubt in my mind that cyber communication means progress. It is currently possible to communicate with billions of people, whether they are across the street or all the way around the globe." (Brad, Grade 9)

Watch for the last article in this series, "Our View of the Future."

How about the kids? Has anyone thought to ask them what they think or do we adults simply assume we know what kids are thinking about digital communication?

The 2009-2010 Optimist Oratorical Competition focused upon the topic: Cyber Communication-Progress or Problem? It was a great topic for today's teens, and I think you'll find some of their opinions just what you thought they'd be, but others, will be surprising.

For this article, I targeted the essays of 22 students, ages 10-15.  Later, we may print some of the essays for you in their entirety, but for now, I'll get your mind going with what the kids have to say about:

Part 1: What We Think Are the Problems with Cyber Communication
Part 2: What We Love About Cyber Communication
Part 3: Our View of the Future

Part 1: What We Think Are the Problems with Cyber Communication

"My great- great aunt is ninety-two. She never used any kind of cell phone contact list, and she has everyone's birthdays memorized. She's never forgotten to send a card, plus she always writes an original poem for every person. Will I be like that when I am her age? Will you? Will technology have ruined our chance at an excellent memory?  Technology is making us lazy." (Claire D., Grade 8)

"Those funny little icons on our computer screens look innocent enough. Facebook, Google, iChat, IM, MySpace, Skype, Twitter, and others sit anxiously like children waiting for friends to come play with them. Some people would argue that cyber communication is far from child's play. " (Elise, Grade 9)

"Can you imagine texting your grandmother with LOL.  My grandmother would be appalled." (Justin, Gr. 9)

Online there's the danger of communicating with someone you don't really know-a person who is not really who he or she pretends to be. The Internet lets people be anonymous and that is not always good." (Razaak, Grade 8)

 "Parent controls unfortunately don't always work." (Rachel, Grade 6)

"I'll be the first to admit that when I come home from school just about everyday the computer is usually the first place I go because there is so much to do there, and it can keep me entertained for hours. Between checking Facebook and email and doing work for school, it's a rare day when I'm not occupied on the computer. But I don't think this is a good thing at all. Consider all the other, more important and healthier things I could be doing. No fresh air. No exercise. It's not technology's fault that people are lazy and use it the wrong ways." (McKenzie, Grade 9)

"Cell phones are useful, but there is a time and a place to use them." (Alyssa, Grade 8)

"Although digital communication for correspondence may be quicker and easier, these simple messages can never replace the meaning of a real letter. The feel of the paper, the way your name is written, or even the faint smell of the person still lingering." (Emma, Grade 8)

"Once anyone joins a social networking site, information becomes public. There is really no way to fully protect oneself. Once you click "Submit", information your post is out there. Even if you delete it, its still there cached somewhere. Digital permanence, as it's called, is something that youth of today cannot seem to wrap themselves around. " (Jamie, Grade 8)

"Computers hate me! I don't ever know when they are going to run out of battery power or when my printer is going to run out of ink. As for passwords, I make them so secure that even I can't remember them. So when I go on a site and need a password, I always click on, "Forgot Password" and get a new one."  (Oriana, Grade 8)

 "Text messages are great ways of getting in touch with your friends and family. Your friend posted a picture of her brand new puppy on Facebook. You know exactly where your friend lives. After all, she posted her name, address, and phone number online. Unfortunately, you aren't the only one who has access to this information. It's out there for the world to see." (Claire D., Grade 8)

"People, even nations, can abuse the systems, like when a government spies on the emails of citizens." (Keegan, Grade 5)

"Because people are paying bills online and are sending emails instead of handwritten notes, the postal service is taking in less mail. What happens when the postal workers have their salaries cut because they don't have enough mail to carry?" (Rachel, Grade 6)

"Cyberbullying is a major problem on the Internet. It's about talking to people in a mean way or making fun of someone. It could go from a simple," Hey, how's it going?" to a "That's it! I can't take this anymore," which could be caused by an offensive joke or name calling." (Raphael, Grade 7)

"There is also the problem of too much privacy. Parents are no longer entirely aware of what's going on in their child's life. They can't keep track of every message their child receives, especially not with that pesky delete button. How can they help keep their child safe, when nearly all accounts are blocked with usernames and passwords? Parents wouldn't know if their child was a victim of cyberbullying or a child predator. And that's the scary part. Parents may have eyes in the back of their heads, but they don't always have eyes in the back of the keyboard." (Claire S, Grade 8)

"You don't know who has saved the information you put online, even if you deleted it." (Claire D., Grade 8)

"When I was watching CNN, I saw a segment about cell phone safety. It showed how parents could track their children with GPS locators. I thought to myself that this was the start of a new generation of advertising. Tell the viewer what you can do with a device, but what they don't hear is about all the other features the cell phone has installed that their children could use." (Lorenzo, Grade 8)

 "The problem is that with the millions of people online, not all of them are going to be good company or have your best interests in mind. One in four teenage girls said they have met strangers through the Internet." (Katie, Grade 9)

"With your phone you can talk and text obsessively, so much so that your social skills and language use will deplete from using computer slang." (Mark, Grade 8)

"Will libraries close and printers be put out of business because people can read books and periodicals online? Isn't our economy struggling enough? (Rachel, Grade 6)

 "Kids don't talk to their parents because they are always on their digital devices. And parents don't care because they gave them the devices in the first place." (Alyssa, Grade 8)

 "It's not just your friends who are interested in your Facebook page." (Katie, Grade 9)

"Some say cyber communication is the best thing ever, while others think computers are out to get them."  (Jamie, Grade 8)

 "When my classmates posted information they shouldn't in our American History forum, the teacher took it down." (Raphael, Grade 7)

 "Today people largely rely on the instant satisfaction they get through all the new technologies." (McKenzie, Grade 9)

"Some people think cyber communication is ruining our society." (Biola, Grade 6)

"Anyone who has taken any part in the world of cyber communication has probably encountered some type of cyberbullying, whether it is a nasty chain mail or a false profile created about someone. Often these things are not taken seriously or said to be a joke, but at what point is it no longer funny? " (Katie, Grade 9)

 "When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, his thoughts weren't to make prank calls or to bully others." (Daniel, Grade 8)

Don't miss the next piece in this series, What We Love About Cyber Communication

It has been an interesting time recently for an observer of technology like me. Mind you, I have been at this job for quite some time. I got my first grant from Apple to write some of the very early software that was written for kids back in 1979, so when I tell you I have been watching almost right from the beginning, at least when it comes to technology for homes and school, I have. I have seen lots of trends, a whole golden era of children's software production, and lots of claims of superiority and ease of use come and go, but mostly go.

But the last couple of weeks have been different. The difference has been very subtle, but something I have been hoping for, for a very long time, is unfolding and I think it should be mentioned, explored and celebrated especially by adults, who are often the butt of the younger generation's jokes about technology.

And what is it? I finally think technology for the rest of us, those of us who don't really want to know how and why it works, but instead that it is intuitive, easy to use, and has only a slight learning curve, is finally beginning to emerge, go mainstream and become a priority of the technology companies.

And why the heck is that important? Because I think we are going to see some leveling of the playing field now that gadgets like smart phones and iPads are making it easy for anyone  (READ TECHNOPHOBIC ADULTS) to take part in the digital feast that is available online, especially for those who are willing to make even the slightest effort to dig into it.

But, hold on to your hats folks, because I also think we are going to see some backlash from the younger generation and the technology "experts" who are not all that pleased to see this happen. For anyone who followed the unveiling of the iPad, this pointed criticism became evident pretty quickly. "You can't create with it," some bloggers repeated over and over again, like repeating it might make it true, and lots of technology experts spent several columns reiterating all the things the iPad can't do or can't do yet, instead of examining how it brings technology to a user's fingertips. Others criticized the device as just being technology for the very young or the very old.

To me, this last comment is probably the most telling of all. To me a device you give a kid, or someone who has not necessarily had a lot of experience with technology, should be something that is easy to use, self -explanatory, and highly reliable. Both of these age groups are also not known for their patience, so putting a device in this category, is actually pretty high praise.

But let's take this comment of "just being technology for the very young or the very old" on face value. I think many of the techno-commentators want to imply that technology just shouldn't be this easy. For whatever reason, this certainly is the image that many kids who fancy themselves to be technosavvy and self proclaimed "techies" want to perpetuate. They don't believe in technology for the rest of us and that is why they are going to make fun of devices like the iPad and the upcoming iSlate from Hewlett Packard.

So don't be fooled and don't feel bad if a device like the iPad suddenly opens up the mysteries of the digital world to you because it is so transparent. Enjoy your new empowerment and just remember that the digital world is supposed to open doors for everyone. It is time to celebrate that technologies for the rest of us are becoming a reality and not just a slogan.

Everyone is against plagiarism. No one wants to see his or her ideas stolen. Which makes it hard to speak out against technology tools that make it harder for students to plagiarize, but I have done so several times in this column and in other places as well. Why? Because I see dangers in the way schools use these tools and the over reliance placed on them. I also think that both parents and kids need to understand these tools to make sure there are no misunderstandings in how they are used, when they are used (i.e. college admissions are now using them as well) and what it might mean to be “caught” by one of them. I also am very troubled as an educator and a parent about what they are doing to the teaching of writing in our schools.

I would love to hear from parents, teachers and students out there about your experiences with tools like Turnitin.com, but here is what I see as the issues:

1. These anti-plagiarism tools are only used in punitive ways. Teachers are using these tools to “catch” students and punish them rather than using the experience as a way to teach about plagiarism. Of course I am not talking about when a paper comes back as 100% plagiarized – copied off some web site. I am talking about when a student turns in a paper and it trips the “magic” percentage at which an alarm goes off that plagiarism has occurred and a teacher needs to look at the paper more closely. I just have heard too any stories from high school parents that instead of taking time to help students figure out what went wrong, or letting students see the report that came back about the paper, teachers are using these tools to give students a bad grade or no credit with little or no explanation. The truth is that the reports can also be full of false positives, instances of plagiarism that turn out not to be plagiarism including double counting of the same information that came off two different sites, comparisons to other student papers on the same topic that are in the database, and forgetting to close a set of quote marks, among other things. Make sure if your child is tagged by one of these anti-plagiarism tools that you ask for and review in detail the report. I have also heard of too many instances where teachers have not bothered to read the report, relying only on the supposed percentage of material plagiarized, which again can be full of false positives.
   
   In defense of these companies who run these sites, these tools are not being used the way they are supposed to be.  Teachers do have the option of letting students see the report online, which undoubtedly would be a good idea when a paper is in rough draft form especially in high school where students, to my mind at least, are still learning how to write. In my book, this is the time to work with them on issues like this before they go off to college, where they often are just one of many, and could be kicked out of school for this kind of academic violation.
   
   As a point of information, turnitin.com now says they are going to make schools buy their other services, like peer review and teacher editing tools, along with the plagiarism search engine. Maybe that will help schools start using it the right way.  I have to think the reason these companies are now doing this is because schools are using them as the stick rather than the carrot in improving student writing.
   
   
2. Anti -plagiarism is not enforced equally over the curriculum.  That is, students are asked to hand in all kinds of projects or do multimedia presentations and rarely are they asked to identify their sources for these projects. Teacher-created handouts also rarely if ever identify where they came from as well. My issue with this is if we are going to ask kids to pay attention to plagiarism in any aspect of their school life or out in the real world, we need to ask them across the board. Of course this may not have to be done quite as formally as full APA or MLA citations, but some acknowledgment needs to be made in projects as well as papers and teachers need to abide by the same rules as students.
   
   
3. The anti-plagiarism campaign is impeding the teaching of writing. When I talk to parents and tell them about the major writing project my son spent three months writing in high school, that took his teacher another three months to grade and hand back to the class, only to let them see it for less than 5 minutes and then hand back in because she was afraid they might pass it off to next year’s class, the most frightening part is how often other parents have a similar story to tell. How are students supposed to learn how to write like that? As every good writer knows, half or more of the process of writing is learning how to rewrite. If we become so afraid of plagiarism that we don’t let students rewrite their work because we are afraid they might hand off the finished, polished version to someone else to use as their own, what’s the point of asking them to write it in the first place? Or send it in to one of these plagiarism detecting sites?
   
   If a teacher really gets to know how a student writes overtime, because there are enough assignments to do that and because they really care, there would be a lot less need for anti-plagiarism technology tools in the first place. We also need to stop thinking that kids are guilty until proven innocent when it comes to their writing.
   
   
4. College admissions offices are now using these tools, but the recourse for a student found plagiarizing is not clear. The folks that created turnitin.com to check for plagiarism in papers turned in by high school and college students now have made a similar service available to the staff of college admissions departments as well. While it will take a while for them to build up a database of college admissions essays to check submitted essays against, any student who is applying to college should be made aware of the fact that their essay, personal statement, references, scholarship essays, and other application questions may be submitted to this database to check for plagiarism.
   
   I have two issues with that. First, do colleges have an obligation to tell students that their essays are going to be checked? And where do they advertise that fact?  Second, what isn’t clear at this point is what happens if a college admissions person does find evidence of plagiarism? Will they let the student know or just reject them? Since there have been multiple complaints about inconsistencies in the anti-plagiarism system and if an admissions person does not really read the report that comes back versus just reading the percentage of reported plagiarism, there could be issues. Let’s just hope the turnitin.com folks will do a better job of informing admissions counselors on how to use their product versus classroom teachers who seem to abuse the system. I also hope that an admissions person will know enough about references to know that many people write similar references letter for many people and just change the name. Students should not be penalized if their references look like other references from the same person written for other students from their high school.

Bottom line: In your children’s work is being scrutinized by a plagiarism detection service, make sure your school is using it properly and not substituting the service for good teaching. Also don’t be afraid to ask for proof if your child is tagged by one of these services. Remember, the computer is not always right.

In another column, in this space I talked about how some parents are advocating that the only way to get kids to stop texting is to take away their cell phones. Perhaps that works or might be a last resort, but aren’t there some other ways to go about it? When parents go cold turkey like this I am reminded of a friend who never let her first child have any candy when she was a toddler and when she went off to preschool, the first thing she did every lunchtime was trade away her entire lunch for candy. The second child in that family benefited from his older sister’s experience, as Mom decided a much more moderate approach might work better.

So how can you use text messaging to your advantage as a parent? Here are some ideas I found when I decided to research the subject:

Using Text Messaging in a Productive Way with Your Teen

One of the reasons many cellular companies decided to offer unlimited texting several years ago is because parents demanded it after they discovered that even having 5000 free text messages a month bundled with many plans wasn’t enough for many families with teens. In addition Cingular commissioned a survey and asked a clinical psychologist and parenting expert Dr. Ruth Peters to come up with some suggestions for parents on how to use text messages in a productive way. Here are some of her suggestions mingled with some additions of my own:

• Learn to text – I can’t tell you how many of my son’s friend’s parents are still shy about learning how to text even now when it has become so prevalent. It is easy to learn and it’s part of being a good technology role model. Just don’t get so caught up in it that you ignore your kids or do foolish things like reading and writing text messages while driving or even sitting at a red light. Learn to text so you can communicate in the way your kids are used to communicating and be a good technology role model. And, OMG (Oh My Goodness) learn some of the acronyms that kids use too so that you can communicate and even translate what is being said to you and to friends.

• Get answers – Kids are more apt to respond to text messages when they are with their friends. It is more discreet and if you have just a quick question it is a fast and painless way to get an answer. Make it a habit right from the start when they get their phone to text them asking where they are and how things are going, telling them something funny that has happened at home, and just letting them know you are thinking about them. It will then just become routine and not seen as an invasion of their time with friends. You’ll also up your chance of getting a fast response.

• Use the power of “toneless” communication When you are texting there is no tone of voice or perceived tone of tone of voice that often gets in the way of good communication between parents and kids. That can also improve the time it takes your kids to respond to your queries.

• Use the power of editable communication If there is some emotion surrounding an issue with your teen, try writing out the message and then count to ten and edit it before sending. When you have time to think rather than just react, texting can help take explosive emotions out of potentially charged communications and situations.

Just for fun you might want to see how one Mom suggests using text messaging to get your kids to the dinner table in an article on the SunSentinel.com site. Just shows how, with a little ingenuity you can make texting something fun rather than it being a CWOT (That’s “complete waste of time” in texting shorthand.) Remember, so much of coping with technology (and teens) is attitude.

In the hands of the wrong person, knowing a password – yours or even your kids - can create havoc. So what can you do to create and, even more importantly, manage strong passwords and teach your kids how to do the same?

How to Create a Strong Password

Creating a strong password is more than a matter of thinking up some word that would be difficult for someone to guess. A good password should be long, original, non-repeating and include a variety of character types. Another important consideration: No double-dipping. Each online profile should have its own password.

So what is on the checklist for creating a strong password?

• Longer than eight characters.
No problem. Let's use the word slowdriver -- a total of 10 characters
• No dictionary words.
OK, then let's substitute zeros with 0, L with l and E with 3 -- s10wdr1v3r
• Use capitals, lowercase, numbers and punctuation.
We can easily capitalize some of the letters -- S10wDr1v3r.
• Not based on personal information.
At least this is better than using your pet’s name.
• No repeating patterns (QWERTY, 1234, etc.)
I think we're OK here too.

Result: S10wDr1v3r -- It pretty much meets all the basic criteria and is an overall strong password. Of course, we should be able to type it at a decent enough speed so that over-the-shoulder spying eyes won't figure it out.

Then again, S10wDr1v3r was the exact password "guessed" in a password hacking competition in 2007.

Now What?

Well, if you have a decent enough memory, S10wDr1v3r may not be that hard to remember. However, can you remember 25 passwords of this length and complexity? If you have 25 online accounts you’ll need to. Just because S10wDr1v3r is a relatively strong password, and perhaps stronger than the one you were previously using, it doesn't mean that you can recycle it. Reusing passwords is never a good idea. Think of it like a domino effect -- if one of your passwords is compromised, every other account using that password is also compromised. And all that hard work will have gone to waste.

Don't worry, it's not as hard as you think.

Go Long

If you recognize the difference in password strength between blink182 (one of the top 10 passwords) and S10wDr1v3r, you are well on your way to password security. S10wDr1v3r is in fact a strong password, but it is missing something very simple to make it a stronger password.

The most important thing to remember about creating strong passwords is make them LONG. Passwords don't have to be limited to just one word -- be creative with your passwords. Go ahead and write a full sentence, something like -- monday rain reminds me of lazy days.

Believe it or not, this may just be stronger than S10wDr1v3r. That's right -- even without punctuation, capital letters and/or numbers. Longer is indeed stronger.

Making It Stronger Yet

Needless to say, 7vPi%QE#AOYG6=>5Pv!ya:oey1%*AU5i8:q is the strongest of all. And it may seem almost ridiculous to have a password like this, but if it is the strongest password, why not? Security shouldn't be compromised, and neither should your passwords.

If you follow the fundamental password principle of Going Long, you will be a password pro. Obviously, it would be close to impossible to memorize 25 passwords such as 7vPi%QE#AOYG6=>5Pv!ya:oey1%*AU5i8:q.

Password Managers

A quality password manager will not only create an infinite number of unguessable long and strong passwords for you, but it will help you keep them safe and organized for you and your kids. Most modern products offer what's called "one-click log-in," so that you don't even have to type that mumbo jumbo.

When choosing your password vault, you may want to decide if you want something installed on your computer or something that can be accessed 24/7 via the Internet (also known as an "online password manager"). Make sure you shop around and find a service you feel most comfortable with . I use 1Password on my Mac and I love it more and more each day as the complexity of my life seems to increase as well as the demands on my time.

These are all the tips and tricks you need so that you’ll never have to click "forgot password" again or deal with your kid’s tears when they can’t log back into a favorite virtual world after a week’s absence. Try a password manager. You’ll wonder why you struggled all those years without one.

Comparing Mac OS X and Vista

In the battle over which operating system is best, when it comes to parental controls, both Mac OS X and Vista are pretty even, although the Mac controls are, like most Apple products, very easy to figure out and use.

To be fair, if you did a feature by feature comparison you probably wouldn't be surprised to find that both systems are very similar. There are time controls, ways and levels of blocking sites or access to applications (like your checkbook/financial records program), and methods to log what activities are taking place - like what websites your kids have visited, applications they've used, and people they've chatted with.) Vista, probably because of the Microsoft connection to the Xbox, does have better online game controls tied to the detailed age and content appropriateness ratings for games from an industry nonprofit called the Entertainment Software Rating Board, or ESRB. That means that you can keep your 5 year old off of games rated for teens or matures users. But I am not sure how many families play those kind of games on their computers. Most everyone I know uses their Xbox or other video game system to do that in a separate place using a television screen.

On the Apple side, and this is particularly great for families with small children, a separate child's home page can be configured with a dock (that line of icons that represent the programs you use like iTunes that runs along the bottom or side of the screen) with only three tabs and one-click options so that younger kids operate the computer more easily. (You can set up a separate home page in OSX by going to Preferences under the Apple Menu (top left corner of the screen) and then adding the child under Accounts.)

Mac OS X includes drop-down menus for setting when and how long a child can be on the computer. Microsoft's Vista, in contrast, offers a calendar grid to set day and time.

In Apple's newest operating system Leopard, settings enable parents to control a child's computer from their own, unlike Vista.

Finding Your Controls

So where can you find out how to use these hidden gems?

And here are the lessons I think come out of this incident for parents and kids:

1. Subtle Cyberbullying - It seems to me that the article about the OSU player the journalist wrote is very much akin to the kind of cyberbullying that seems so rampant among teens online these days. The article was full of innuendo about how the player might not have the guts to be the quarterback and perhaps even a "momma's boy" sitting around eating his mother's chicken. There was also a picture of the player purportedly laughing with one of the coaches while his team was losing on the field.
    
   That's no so different than what a lot of cyberbullying entails. Comments that could be taken several ways are made on MySpace and Facebook pages or in IMs or emails and then things start to snowball and people begin to believe they are true. There are also lots of pictures put up that are out of context (like it's never ok to laugh with a coach when your team is losing?) that at first blink make the person look bad, weird, uncaring, or worse.
     
   The lesson here? We need to remind kids that making innuendos about a person is not that different than bullying someone. Bullying is not just name-calling. Smearing someone can take many forms and online posts made about someone, particularly composed in anger, are there for everyone to see and have the potential to never go away.
     
2. Do It in Public And it NEVER Goes Away - While I personally have a lot of sympathy for the OSU coach, Mike Gundy, this incident is a good way to remind kids that these days whatever you do at a public event may be recorded - and literally replayed thousands of times if someone thinks it's wild, outrageous or otherwise interesting for any reason. I understand the coach now says he wishes he had just submitted a written response to the article. He has been criticized for speaking out so strongly without seemingly thinking it through. Now his outburst will follow him around forever. The article will always be the number one thing that people will remember when they think of the journalist involved as well.
     
3. The Coach as Every Parent - While I watched the coach in the clip I couldn't help but think he was like every parent whose child has been bullied or abused in some way. He pleaded with the journalist to come after him as the adult rather than his player who he refers to as a "good kid" who is heartbroken. After seeing this, we need to remind kids that they need to give some thought to how sad and sick their "victim" is going to feel when they make nasty comments or post questionable pictures of someone else online. We need to remind them that they will be hurting so many more people than just the person who is the target of their online post.

Is there scientific research to back me on that? Not yet, but someday it's sure to be the subject of some kind of fancy titled government-backed research project. All kidding aside though, in putting this paper together I found numerous articles and blog entries by teachers and professors bemoaning students overdependence on spell and grammar checkers as well as comments on how inaccurate grammar checkers can be. So how can you get your kids to believe you on this? Ask them to read over this poem, or better yet, cut and paste it into your word processor and let it take a look. They'll get the point.

Ode To a Spell Checker
I have a spelling checker
It came with my PC;
It plainly marks for my revue
Mistakes I cannot sea.
I've run this poem threw it
I'm sure your pleased too no
It's letter perfect in it's weigh
My checker tolled me sew.

So if the computer isn't the best helpmate in proofreading, how should you direct them to scour their work? Here's a list of things to try:

• Print it Out ­- Make sure they leave enough time to print out a copy of their final draft and read it off the computer. It's amazing what errors suddenly stick out.
• Leave Time - The best way to do a final draft is to have a day to let it "sit" before reading it one last time. It lets the mind stop concentrating on the content and instead focus on the words.
• Read Aloud - Be a good audience and let them read aloud to you. You can be making dinner or brushing the dog at the same time, but again errors will suddenly raise their ugly heads. If no one is around, tell kids to try reading out loud to themselves. They'll find many an error that way too.
• Read It Backwards - No one around? Try reading the draft backwards - last sentence first. That way each sentence and word will stand out because it won't be lost in the logic of the argument or flow of the story.
• Read it Upside Down - Same logic as reading it backwards. This way each word becomes precious.
• Touch the Type ­- Try touching each word as you read it so your mind can't skip over missed words. This is particularly helpful to younger writers.
• Cover it Up ­- Try using two pieces of paper to cover up only what you are currently reading to help get and keep focus on the project at hand.
• Line Up Resources Before Hand - Very few people know how to spell every word or know every grammar and punctuation rule, but the smart people know where to look the information up. Have books and online resources ready for action.

• Let's start with your pumpkin. You've seen those packages of pumpkin stencils at the store and maybe you've even purchased some. Well now you and your kids can make your own on the computer. Try the pumpkin stencil maker on the Better Homes and Garden (bhg.com) site for traditional pumpkin faces. (You'll have to register for the site, but it's free.) There are also lots of ideas on the site for other pumpkin designs and looks. There are also pre-made printable stencils for less traditional pumpkins at Hersheys and PumpkinGlow.com. Do an online search for more printable pumpkin stencils if you don't find what you are looking for.
    
• How about a costume? Can't decide what you or your kids to be? Head again to the Better Homes and Garden (bhg.com) site (free registration) for their costume gallery and input who is looking (male or female, baby, child, adult or pet) and whether you are going homemade or store bought for some great ideas. Lots of costumes can also be purchased online, but watch out for the shipping charges - always the killer in an online transaction. And for those of us who can't draw a straight line to save our life, don't forget there are lots of copyright free designs online that can be printed out and glued onto knight's shields, robot's circuitry, and even copied to make monster's scars. Start by doing an image search in a search engine like Google.
    
• Did you say decorate? You can say what you want about Martha Stewart but when it comes to Halloween, the woman has a witch's way with devilish decorating. Some great printable templates are available on the Martha Stewart site for bats and even a spooky silhouette for your staircase. If you access to a photocopier there are also some dynamic window silhouettes you can quickly put together or go for the bigger witch on a broom to put in your window.
   
• How about "better than candy" gifts for kids? Perhaps inquiring grandparents want to know? Try software. One new sensational title from Scholastic that recently emerged from the mist is I SPY Mystery for ages 5 to 10 (Windows and Macintosh,$20). Every kid loves a mystery and this title holds 13. Much like the popular I SPY books but with sound effects and more games, I SPY Mystery challenges young sleuths to choose a case, solve riddles, and ultimately use their problem solving know-how to resolve mysteries with intriguing title like Pirate's Map, Midnight Mouse, and Four Letters. Great ways to build vocabulary and following directions skills as well as visual memory and problem solving.

Cyberbullies and online game griefers ambush kids hoping to have fun online. Some social networking submissions and web sites, specially designed to harass certain individuals, put the old sadistic "slam" books of our school days to shame. Emails crafted to shed a bad light on someone's reputation or character, complete with digital photos, abound. Online seductions resulting in offline chaos become more common everyday.

If you've been following the nightly news anywhere other than Antarctica, you know what I mean. It's so sad that for every victory technology has, and there are many  - like being able to get the latest medical information or letting school classrooms at opposite ends of the world have a chance to talk about what they have in common - there's always something unseemly stealing the thunder.

Sometimes I think that every day is Halloween for kids visiting online neighbors. They can't trust that people are who they seem to be, treats and their sources have to be highly screened, and new tricks are being invented every day, so beware. Certainly not the world I envisioned twenty-five years ago when I got bitten by the educational technology bug.

With everyone in disguise out in the cyberworld, I've also been contemplating this generation and its relationship with digital anonymity. We tell kids to invent screen names and gamer tags that don't reflect anything of themselves. We exhort them to not reveal any personal information on social networking sites, in emails or IMs or while playing games, in chats or anywhere else out online. We also caution them to make up smart passwords using a random collection of letters and numbers - not their pet's name or their favorite color.

I don't contest that these are the kinds of safety rules that we as parents must make sure our kids follow. Strict anonymity is a vital part of keeping kids safe online these days. I do worry, though, that the anonymity that makes it so easy to use technology for evil is setting up an odd parenting with technology issue. Are we are raising a generation who will always have a digital ultra ego, a part of themselves that is always anonymous and tempted to operate outside of social norms out in the digital world?

But perhaps all is not lost. In the midst of my sinking despair about the future, my 15-year old son appeared at my desk last week with a grin on his face. He didn't know of my growing concerns, but it seems he had some light to shed on my dark thoughts.

"I just chased a bully off some young kids by telling him to let up," he reported about playing Xbox online. "Being anonymous works both ways."